4 weeks and 5 days to go!

Letter to our baby girl.  One of many. 

Hi Baby,

Last night was our second night of pre-natal class. They talked mostly about the different types of labor and delivery, then they showed us a video of 4 different labors. Now, I have seen delivery before. I watched your Uncle Sean & Conn when they were born, your cousins Kalin and Kai, as well as your cousin Gavin. I remember watching Kalin emerge into the world from across the delivery room (I was 18) and being in tears. I all of a sudden understood the miracle of life. Each time I see a birth I get a little teared up, because I am in awe! Well, last night watching these births brought on even more tears as I thought of the moment when I will deliver you and hear your first cry. I couldn't help crying just thinking about it. I am so amazed at this body of mine - that it has been able to create you (with the help of your daddy, of course). This time last year I could never have imagined that I would be feeling you kick around in my tummy and cause me to go to the bathroom so often every night :) My life was very different then. Your daddy hadn't even proposed to me yet! And here I am now, pregnant with darling you. You are a miracle.

There are a lot of things I don't understand in life. I don't understand why you came to us so quickly, while others have had to wait such a long and agonizing time. I think if we had to wait for you many years, I would also be in agony. I don't understand Heavenly Father's time frame, but I have to trust it. Something I heard in church last week is "Do your best, and trust in the Lord's timing". I hope that we can teach you and help you to understand the Lord's timing too. It's not easy to wait on his time frame, but he does know what is best for us - for each of his children as individuals. I'm so grateful for that. I know he loves me as he loves all of his children. I hope you will feel that as you grow to understand his love for you.

I feel a great responsibility as your mommy to give you the best life I possibly can; to love you, nurture you, and teach you. Your daddy and I love you so much already, and we can't wait to hold you and just love you. There are a whole bunch of people who love you and are waiting to meet you - grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins and friends. You are one lucky little girl!

Well, we still have a few weeks to go, but I wanted you to know again how much you are loved. We are so excited for the day when you finally come!


Love,

Mommy

33.5 weeks and counting

Hard to believe that I am actually in the 30's now.  It was hard to imagine back in the first trimester when I was sick all the time.  So grateful time is speeding up and we'll have a baby in our arms in no time at all! Yay, yay, and yay!!

The second trimester was fabulous.  I felt really good, and was mostly just tired - as is expected.  The third trimester has brought with it lots of fun stuff! Really, nothing was worse than the first.  I can't complain about this last trimester.  I will tell you, however, about some of the fun things that are experienced.  1) Rashes from the Summer heat (remind me not to be pregnant during the Summer again).  2) Wanting to eat or even drink a full glass of water and not being able to, due to the room the baby has taken in my tummy.  There is nothing worse than being so, so thirsty and feeling like I could throw it all up because my stomach just can't hold it all.  Meals are small (even though I crave eating a full meal), and are eaten more often.  3) Boob sweat.  Yes, I said it.  I dunna like it. 
4) Heartburn - ack! I had acid reflux before I got pregnant, and pregnancy has only exacerbated the problem - especially the third trimester.  I have to be so cautious of what I eat.  No caffeine whatsoever, no fried foods whatsoever, and very little citrus.  Even on a 'bland' day I can potentially have problems.  The thing I hate is waking up in the middle of the night (it's usually when I have changed to my right side - big mistake) and almost choking on the acid that has infiltrated my throat.  Oh, it's so horrible! 5) I can no longer be content just hanging out at home after work.  Lately the normal routine has been giving me anxiety.  I have found myself looking for projects to do, people to visit, books to read, etc.  For those of you who know me well, this isn't the norm.
6) Emotions are right there on the surface.  For those most part throughout this pregnancy I have felt really good emotionally.  Of course there have been moments, but nothing out of the ordinary.  This third trimester my down days have been a bit more often than normal.  Oh, my dear Dave must be weary of those days.  Sorry honey! 7) Round ligament pain.  Oh, this one is fun.  This is what makes me grunt or make a face every time I bend down, get in and out of the car, turn side to side at night, or get up from a sitting position.  There is pain, yes.  These ligaments are getting my body ready to have the baby.  This is what causes my pregnant waddling.  8) Stiff hands.  This is a weird phenomenon, but it actually feels like I have arthritis in my hands.  Crazy pregnancy hormones. 

I know there is more, but this is all I could come up with at the moment.  Lots of fun, huh! But seriously, I am thankful - so thankful to be pregnant right now and to have this little miracle growing inside of me.  I love her kicks and the fact that they are stronger every day.  I love our baby girl.  Can't wait to meet her!

27 weeks

It has been a while! I can hardly believe that we are already at our 27 week mark.  Our wee girl is growing, and with her my stomach, chest, behind, and oh, just about everything else.  It can get a little depressing, but I've decided that I am not going to be vain and let it get in the way of the happiness I feel about this baby girl.
Since about week 18 or 19 I have felt great.  I was done with morning sickness at 15 weeks and was very thankful to have that behind me.  Coming down with a horrible cold was almost worse than the entire time I was nauseated, however.  Luckily that was over in a couple of weeks, though it seemed like an eternity at the time.  The worst thing I feel now is complete exhaustion.  This growing baby gig can really take a lot out of a girl! And now since my uterus is a little bigger than a basketball, it doesn't give a lot of room for anything else - including food and water.  We went in for an ultrasound a couple of weeks ago, and she was just over 2 lbs. at the time, so she is probably in the almost 3 lb. range by now.  I feel her movements constantly, and I love it! I love that she is my constant companion throughout each day.  Dave and I can't wait to meet her!
Anyway, that's my update for now.  All is well.  Yay!

Sugar and spice and everything nice...

That's what our little girl is made of! True, true - we are having a wee baby girl.  We went in just to find out the gender of our babe yesterday.  The technician had to dig around for a while and wiggle her so that we could indeed see her girl parts.  I feel bruised today because of it :(  It was well worth it, though! We had thought we would be having a boy, but the last few weeks we started to doubt and really had no idea.  On my side of the family there are 7 nephews and one adorable niece, so I naturally figured that boys were in our favor.  Not the case, my friends! We are totally excited to meet our precious girl! She might have a name, but we haven't solidified it yet, and we may just keep it to ourselves anyway :) 
We can hardly wait to meet her! Here she is - isn't she just beautiful?!

The joys of pregnancy?

Before getting pregnant, I knew that there would be some un-fun things about it.  At least this is what I gathered over the years from friends and family, but I always thought I'd be able to handle things splendidly.  Let me just say that I was humbled.  From about week 6 I began the 'morning sickness'.  Of all pregnancy symptoms, this has been my very least favorite.  And by the way, it never happened in the morning.  I've never done well with nausea.  I knew this would be a difficult part, but I didn't know how difficult.  Feeling nauseated all day every day is not fun.  I really dislike it.  Even taking anti-nausea medication didn't totally take away the uneasy feeling of being sick - all of the time! Then of course the back-lash of taking the medication to make me feel better made me totally and completely constipated! I would try eating things that would agree with my stomach, but those things were definitely not fiber-rich foods.  I ate whatever I could keep down, and as you pregnant ladies know, if you don't eat, you are absolutely and totally ravenous! I've never known hunger like I have in pregnancy - and much more often too.  If you don't eat, you feel sick.  As a result, I have gained about 12 pounds thus far. 
AND, if you eat the wrong foods, you may end up with heartburn, which is miserable too. 

All of these things and more I have experienced in these mere 15 weeks.  I hope I don't sound like a complainer (sometimes I feel like one), but I really am so thankful to have this experience.  I just don't think I ever had as great an appreciation for women that have been doing this forever as I do now.  I could never know except by experiencing it for myself.  I will say that my prayers have become more frequent and more fervent, and my love for dear Dave has grown by leaps and bounds.  He has been an incredible support to me through these times.  Sometimes I just break down and cry because I'm so exhausted, or just exhausted of being nauseated.  He has been so patient with my lack of contributing to doing anything in the house, because once I come home from work all I can do is rest until it's time for sleep.  I love that husband of mine! He loves me mucho even though I'm turning into a hippo.  He's a wonder that Dave Dean. 

All in all, I am a happy girl, and just can't wait to actually feel this baby kicking inside of me (it has been kicking for weeks now, but I just can't feel it).  I can't wait to be a mommy, and to experience a whole different type of joy in the journey of life.  Yay!

Oct. 22nd - impending arrival

And just like that, we're pregnant! Before we got married, Dave and I had decided we would try for a baby right away.  At this age, I had no idea if I would even be able to get pregnant, so we thought we'd just see if it could happen.  I had thought a year or maybe more until it happened.  I have plenty of family and friends that have been unable to get pregnant, and I just wanted to make sure we used every bit of time we had to try.  Only a few weeks after we got married, I got a positive on a pregnancy test, and the next day we lost it.  It was hard, because there was a definite change in how my body felt before and after I lost it.  I was grateful, however, that I was even able to get pregnant.  I really thought it would take longer after that, but 4 weeks later (Valentine's Day), we got another positive.  A few weeks later we went in for our first ultrasound - since I am 36, it is a little more necessary.  We heard the baby's beautiful beating heart and realized this was really, really happening.  Another ultrasound at 11 weeks showed the baby was very actively moving its arms and legs.  It was the most surreal thing to see the movement on the ultrasound screen! I can hardly believe there is a baby within me.  We are so incredibly grateful for this baby and for the chance to experience this - especially when we know that so many have had difficulties getting pregnant.  We almost felt guilt that it was so quick for us. 
Well, things are progressing and we are now at 14 weeks.  We'll find out in two weeks what we are having.  Needless to say, we are excited.  We are nervous.  We are humbled.  We are grateful.